In the world today there is so much stress put on our identity, who we are, what is our family background and what is our status in society. How do I respond when someone asks me who am I? Most time when we are posed with the question, who we are, we respond to it by telling the other person what we do for a living. We often define who we are by what we do. Who we are in society seems so important. Many idealize sports stars, singers and famous people and many others. In our society, we have become obsessed with titles. In Fact, some have gone through great lengths to embellish their titles to glamorize or promote who they are.
For the last couple of days, I have been reflecting on this the gospel reading of St Mathew 16:13-20. In this passage we see Jesus ask this question to his disciples “Who do you say the son of man is?” Who is Jesus for me? Who do I say Jesus is? How do I look at Jesus? What is my relationship with Jesus? These are just some of the questions that need to be answered.
First and foremost to answer these questions I will need to answer who is Romano? Only when I can answer who Romano is than I can fully understand and answer the above questions. But who do you say Romano is? I guess all your answers will be different because you have different opinions about me and the way you relate to me are different. I may not have any control of how you think and perceive me but I may have some control of how can I act and behave that may influence the way that you think of me.
As I reflect on the reading the more I can identify with Peter. Peter may have given the best and idle answer out of the disciple’s. Peter may be given the keys and be called the Rock and become our first Pope but he was also a controversial figure. Peter was not 100% perfect he had flaws and was always messing things up for himself and shooting himself on the foot. And this is what I can identify myself with.
There are things that I have done which I may feel like I am walking on water, saying and doing the right things and in the next minute like Peter, I am drowning with shame, guilt, and regret. There have been times I feel that nothing can go wrong and life is all smiles and green but in the next minute, I am hurting my friends and family, and saying the wrong the thing at the wrong time and the wrong place. There are times that I feel very close to Christ by attending Mass, saying my daily prayers, doing my meditation so on and so forth and sometimes in the next breath, my connection with Jesus is like a Wi-Fi connection and drive-thru whereby it is only when I need something then I ask for help.
There is a lot that Peter can teach me. Despite all his shortcomings he continued to persevere and so I must continue to persevere. Even when he realized that he had denied Jesus he wept his heart out. This is what is asked of me when I do something wrong, upset and make people angry or haven’t lived to my expectation and going against my good judgement. I must realize my weakness, be remorseful and say sorry to those I have hurt and continue to strive to do better. I know it is hard and challenging. If doing all of this was easy then I would be living in a perfect world. Come to the end of the day I still believe and trust that the Lord won’t forget his love for me and that’s What I am grateful for.
Romano Reconstructed 